i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize