I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
