I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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