Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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