i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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