so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize