So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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