I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
