I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize