??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
