??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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