I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
