So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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