I'm really into asian looking animals
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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