so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
