Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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