we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
