I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
