No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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