i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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