Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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