Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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