Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
