She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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