Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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