i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
