i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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