I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
