I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
