I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
