Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
