Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
