Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
