Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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