It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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