no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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