I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
