I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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