just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
