Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize