It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
