Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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