Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
