VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
