he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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