He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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