I am puke
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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