so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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