we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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