Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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