just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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