I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize