it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
