at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
