I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
